twisteddelights | (no subject)

Heh. Glad to hear I haven't lost my touch.

A shame you'd never work for me, honestly.

[Wincing a bit.]

Um, actually...

[Azul looks up.]

Hm?

About that. I'm... more open to that idea now than you might think?

[And that gets Vert looking away again as he rubs at one of his arms.]

[Azul's fork clinks against the plate.]

What? Since when?

... Let's just say it's a recent development.

[Aaaaaand excuse him while he internally dies on the spot for the way his voice wavered at the end of that sentence.]

...Vert, if this is pity--

[Vert's head snaps back over so he can glare at Azul.

... The effect is almost undoubtedly lessened by the fact that he's obviously on the verge of tears.]

It's not pity! It's... [He lets out a soft, frustrated noise as he runs a hand through his hair and looks away again.] I withdrew because of one stupid fight when we were kids and I... I'm sorry I left you all alone like that. I should've tried to stick around, but I was hurt and I-- I thought you hated me.

I did.

[Welp. At least it's past tense?]

You've always been the prettier one, the more athletic one, the one who doesn't have to be on diets and count calories just to look normal, the one who never cried when we were kids.

[That modifier is obviously needed since...Vert is near tears? That's weird.]

And then you come over, start trying to get into my pot, talking about how the boy you liked complimented your tentacles when he was the boy I liked and he'd just insulted my tentacles and I was trying to eat my feelings so I wouldn't cry and get ink everywhere. Again. Of course I hated you.

[Azul pauses, trying to calm down before he starts having another issue with blot. That's apparently a risk, right now.]

[..................]

You actually thought I liked that guy?!

Yeah? Are you telling me you didn't?

Yeah, I am! I knew he was a two-faced bastard and I was going to complain and you never let me fi--

[...]

... All this grief over a misunderstanding...

Oh my god.

[They are so fucking stupid.]

...I mean, I still hated you like any middle schooler hates the popular kids--because you were popular, Vert, and I was the one everyone picked on because I'm fat and slow. But you were also my only friend, and then you weren't.

I... very genuinely thought you didn't want to deal with me. And already had the habit of isolating myself when I got upset. I may have been popular, but you were basically the only person I actually liked talking to, so when I thought you hated me, I...

[... Well. Now he just feels like a moron.]

I didn't that day, but...dammit, Vert. I cried for days after Mom told me you weren't coming over to play anymore.

I... I'm so sorry, Azul...

[Aaand this is the point where the dam breaks and Vert just... finally starts crying.]

---Vert?!

[What the hell, he's crying? Azul sets his box of crab cakes aside and floats the tissue box over to his cousin since he's on strict bedrest and can't get up.]

Are...are you okay?

[The tissues are appreciated, Vert takes a few and--okay, he needs a bit, sorry, Azul. He's a mess.

Once he manages to calm down, he lets out a mirthless laugh.]

No... no, I'm not. I spent all this time thinking you hated me over a misunderstanding, and spent some of that resenting you because Mom and Dad kept wishing I could be more like you, then nearly could've lost you for good...

Wait. Auntie did what?

... Yeah, that's been a whole thing. Ever since your grades started improving, Mom's said just about every variation of "Oh, Vert, why can't you be more like Azul?" to my face.

[Just. Baffled.]

We were, what, two or three points apart in middle school? You beat me just as often as I beat you? The only reason I've got a higher overall average now is rigging Beans' Day so I don't have to worry about P.E.?

You apparently shot ahead of me quite a bit after we stopped talking, according to Mom. I just stopped arguing with her over it after a while. It was never worth it.

No, I most certainly did not. I watched my grades very carefully, and even after I began making my deals you were never very far behind me.

[He starts laughing again, just as mirthless as before, because if he doesn't laugh, he's going to start crying again.]

All this time... All this damn time...